By Chris Denning
How dramatic of me to start this post with that word.
I mean, sex isn’t really that big of a deal anyways, especially today. Most of the shows I enjoy use sex like a plot tool to move the story along or as a way to provide some easy laughs. So what if there’s a topless chick or a naked guy in a scene in the newest Fast & Furious movie?
That’s just how it is, right?
Which is kinda true, but that sucks.
What sucks? The fact that sex in our culture is now so . . . cheap.
Sex has never been so accessible, even for kids. When I was growing up, I was aware of the whole sex thing by 6th grade. THE 6TH GRADE! And that was over 15 years ago, you’d have to imagine that things have even sped up since.
Sex was never meant to be a commodity, or a tool. It was never meant to be this thing that was used by people to get things. That sounds so sad, doesn’t it?
And take note: I’m not judging anyone. I’m simply pointing out how it breaks my heart that there are people, REAL people in this world who understand sex as a means to a material end, rather than for what it truly is.
I have a daughter due to arrive any day now. I can’t bear the thought of her understanding of sex being based on what she can gain by using it or by how its used to produce value in the world. I hope she grows to understand the real nature of sex, how it is most fulfilling (note that word) in life, and choose to respect its weight.
Sex has become this cultural norm, an everyday thing in most entertainment. Do I like it? No, but I’m pretty desensitized to it myself. We almost have to intentionally NOT give it our attention when it’s constantly all around us.
If sex isn’t a commodity, a tool, a resource, a means-to-an-end, or a play thing, then what is it? What is it meant to be, it’s original intended design? We’re talking about this a lot this weekend, but here’s a few things off the top of my head that sex is:
- Sex is unity. In the context of a marriage, sex is the ONE thing that will bring unity more than almost anything else.
- Sex is intimate. In the context of marriage, sex allows you to be your most vulnerable self and to be loved as such.
- Sex is fulfilling. In the context of marriage, sex can be the thing that helps you to get everything you want in a marriage.
- Sex is awesome. In the context of marriage, sex is the best. Seriously, it’s great. Like the best ever. Because of the context.
You might argue that you can have all of these things outside the context of marriage. Yea, sure you can . . . if you lie to yourself. You might even have these things in true form for a moment . . . but only for a moment.
Marriage doesn’t just provide you with the certificate that makes it ok to have sex with this girl you’ve been dating. Marriage provides protection from the sharp edges that come with a sexual relationship outside of marriage.
Without marriage, sex opens yourself up to a world of hurt, loss, pain and heartache because there is no union. The union of marriage, the oneness, the unbreakable bond blessed by God is what provides protection from these things. Sure, it can be fun, but fun with no boundaries or guardrails almost always ends in someone getting hurt.
You might try and argue that you know plenty of “Christians” who have crappy sex lives or divorce because of sex, and you’re right, we see it all the time. But, if you seek to have a marriage that truly honors God, try and tell me your sex life isn’t ridiculously great. God will bless your sex life when you honor his ideals for sex.
Sound interesting? Check out this weekend at Journey to learn more about God’s ideals for sex.