Does intimacy really matter in marriage?

By Don Gentry


Intimacy is the key to making your marriage last for the long haul and keeping it enjoyable along the way.  I have seen many miserable couples stick together.  While I admire their fortitude there isn’t a bit of their marriage I desire.  The kind of marriage I want to have and that I want to model is the one where the husband and wife still love and adore each other all the way to the grave.  That kind of marriage takes work, intentionality, and forgivenessA marriage that stands the test of time is one that is built upon true intimacy.  

Josh Squires wrote a great article on the topic of intimacy.  You can read the article by clicking on this link.  http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/marital-intimacy-is-more-than-sexThe title of his article is Marital Intimacy is More Than Sex.   He goes on to give the five types of intimacy and why each of them are important and how they are all interrelated.

Why do I give you this article? Because intimacy at all five levels is crucial if we are ever truly going to be one as God is one.   Marriage is supposed to reflect the image of God. Dysfunction and divorce is not the reflection that God has desired for his followers.  Yet too often that is the reflection that we model to the world.

Redemption/forgiveness (you can’t have one without the other) is truly the greatest gift that God has given to mankind, but I believe he gave us redemption so that we could model it within the covenant of marriage. We need to learn how to become vulnerable in our marriages in all five areas that Squires talks about if we want to reflect the image of God.

Read the article and honestly assess where you are at in your relationship with your spouse.  Use a 1-10 rating scale in each of the five areas.  Score yourself and then have your spouse score your relationship.  Once you have an accurate picture of where you are in your relationship, determine to move your score up one point this month in one or two of the areas.  Don’t think you are going to go from a 5-10.  Marriage and intimacy takes work and intentionality.

If you really want a marriage that lasts and one that is fulfilling, then it is going to be found in this idea of intimacy.  You can only control your own efforts but even one person working towards intimacy in a marriage can yield great benefits.  When two of us are working towards intimacy then marriage becomes a reflection of immense beauty. 

We hope to see you Sunday as we continue to uncover the beauty that God designed in marriage!